Godwin Samararatne
Living with Awareness
Retreat Talks in Fa Yim Kok, Lantau Island, Hong Kong
Day 7: 21st October 1998
7: Using the Medicine in Everyday Life
Godwin: The topic today is how to use the medicine in everyday life. So what are your questions?
(Interpreter reads out written questions):
The first question is in respect of emptiness and no-self: When we know how to use them as tools, then in everyday life, how do we live in the present?
The second question is why is suffering so difficult for us to accept? How can it make our mind closed to so many things and result in the great wheel of Kamma?
Godwin: Maybe you can also read the other questions, there may be similar questions.
(Interpreter reads out some more questions:)
In our meditation classes Mr. S. has given detailed answers to many questions. Therefore in this retreat led by Master Godwin, I understand a lot more, I have a much deeper understanding. I understand that if I make no distinctions, then I shall be able to put things down, develop non-attachment to the stage of no-self. Today I'm only knocking on the door of the meditation centre, meaning I'm just a beginner in the practice, but I will bear in mind the teachings of Master Godwin and will always maintain awareness and try to apply it in daily life so as to reduce greed, hatred and delusion. I truly thank Master Godwin for the teachings. I also thank Mr. S for the very good organisation. Thanks to the yoga teacher and all the other meditators who have brought warmth to me. I also thank the interpreters. And I do not know when I will be able to taste again such good food as that prepared by our lady chef!
Anatta in Everyday Life
Godwin: So one question is how to use no-self in everyday life.
Now what happens is because of this sense of self, we have images, models, of how things should be according to my way. It is always my way. Naturally in everyday life things don't always happen according to my way. That is how suffering is created in everyday life, with this idea of my way. So whenever you are suffering in everyday life, you can try to find out: what has been my idea, what has been my view of how things should be? Then you'll realise how this sense of self is directly related to the suffering that you are experiencing. So in this simple, practical way you can work with this idea of my way and then when that my way is not there, when there is emptiness, notice how there is an absence of suffering.
Another way of saying the same thing is that with this sense of self that we have we feel that we are Somebody. Here again suffering and unpleasant emotions arise with this idea, with this concept that you are Somebody. I will give a few practical examples. So with this feeling of Somebody we would like others to behave according to the idea this Somebody has. And then naturally when others don't behave in this way this is why we get angry. So you see the direct connection between this idea of Somebody, this sense of self, and getting angry.
And how does this feeling of Somebody cause fear to arise? What is the connection? So here, when Somebody is threatened, when this Somebody feels that something might happen to me, that I am in danger, that is how fear comes.
How does this feeling of Somebody generate anxiety in the future? So with this feeling of Somebody, you feel that in the future everything should go according to the idea this Somebody has. And if you are uncertain about that, then this is how anxieties arise.
So these are some simple, practical examples, how this idea of Somebody is related to self, how suffering and these negative emotions arise. No-self or emptiness is when this feeling of Somebody becomes a Nobody!
Another question that was raised was how to be in the present in everyday life...
Interpreter: Actually the first question is: There are two tools, one is emptiness, one is no-self, and how to apply these two tools in our daily life.
The first part of the second question is: Why is it that suffering is so difficult to bear, that suffering is so tremendous, that suffering makes us unable to open our mind thereby resulting in the big wheel of Kamma.
Opening to Suffering
Godwin: So I'll answer that question. The question is very nicely put. Why do we find it difficult to bear suffering? Why aren't we more open to suffering? A simple response is that we are surprised when there is suffering. But we should not be surprised because we are still not enlightened, so naturally as we are not enlightened, we are bound to suffer. We should be surprised if there was no suffering! And when we are surprised what happens? We give it a big minus. Only I suffer. No one else suffers in the way that I am suffering, and I know in my life I will continue to suffer. So we can create a big story out of the suffering that we are having. In this situation how can we be open, how can we not be affected when there is suffering? So this is the beauty of the Buddha's teaching if you can see suffering as a Noble Truth.
I'd like to offer a very interesting tool. You should wait with an open mind thinking: Let me experience the First NobleTruth of the Buddha. So unlike in the past, not being closed to suffering, but waiting for suffering to arise. One thing is, as we found out, that when we are really open to suffering it doesn't arise!
The second point is: when we are being open to suffering, waiting for it to arise, then we are not surprised by it. And when suffering does arise if you can say: Very interesting; I'm very grateful because now that it has come, I can work with it. Please try this tool and see what a difference it makes when suffering comes. To put it in another way, now we see it as something extremely negative, but in the way that I am suggesting it is something very positive. And if you can, at that moment ask yourself the question: What can I learn from this suffering? In what way can I use the Buddha's tools? In what way can I use the Buddha's medicine in working with this situation?
And this brings up, as I said, the Second NobleTruth. And here you will see very clearly that suffering is due to this idea you have that something that is happening should not happen to me. So if you can develop this positive attitude, then you will be really open to suffering. And then you can really make use of suffering to find a way out of suffering. So it is simply changing your attitude towards suffering. When you change the attitude you see suffering in an entirely different way.
What is the next part of the question?
Interpreter: You have answered both the short questions, and the long question is just an experience. He is just telling you that he is going to be very determined to continue with the practice under Mr. S.'s instructions and with your teaching and then he thanked all the organisers.
Godwin: So it's a big plus for Mr. S. and it's a big plus for this meditator. And we wish that with that determination, he will find a way out of suffering. And it is very nice that he has expressed thankfulness and gratitude, so we really appreciate that.
Retreatant: I just want to take this opportunity to add something interesting regarding the Four NobleTruths. I have a short story to tell. I have a female colleague in my office and one day I talked to her about the Four NobleTruths. She has no religion. And after I told her about the Four NobleTruths, what they mean and what I am practising, do you know what her response was? She said it is not necessary for her to practise Buddhism since she really enjoys suffering. She said sometimes life has suffering, but when the suffering is gone the happiness comes. And that life is a wave, sometimes a calm wave, sometimes a down wave, that is the way life is. She said that that is the taste of life so why do I want to get rid of the suffering?
Godwin: So it is interesting that there are people with different philosophies, different views!
There is an interesting Buddhist text which speaks about 62 views, 62 suppositions, during the Buddha's time. And when you go through those 62 views, I'm sure some of the views that people have at present can be identified in those 62 views. And I think people are entitled to their views, why not? So she takes up that position but then someone else takes up the position that he or she really feels suffering and then he or she wants to find a way out of suffering, and that is where the Buddha's teaching is relevant.
A friend of mine was a Professor in a University. He said: I'm always happy, I don't have to practise anything. He had money; he had good health; he had a good family. So in a way he was very happy and contented. Suddenly he had a heart attack and he fell sick. What a difference it made to him! He became so sad, so depressed. He had lots of fear of death and dying. It was so sad, tragic to see that man in that condition. So it's only when one really encounters such suffering that one can really see suffering and all its implications.
In such a situation if someone were to go to him and say: Would you like to find a way out of your suffering? Naturally he would say: Please, please tell me. So we can be living in a world that we have created which does not correspond to reality, a kind of dream world, and then in real life when that world is shattered, that is when you see reality. And when that happens, sometimes it is too late. So this is the importance of the practice. When we start practising one aspect of the practice is that we are preparing our minds for any situation in life. Then we will never be taken unawares. So this is my response to people who follow that philosophy.
Anything else? Please ask questions about how to deal with everyday life. It is important.
Retreatant: Can I share an experience about suffering, not a question. Sometimes when I meditate and when pain arises in my legs I get frustrated and agitated also. I would try to escape from the situation by thinking: Shall I release my legs? And the more I think about how to escape from the pain, the more agitated I get. I recall an incident a few years ago when I had an accident and hurt my leg badly. On that particular occasion I accepted the fact that I had hurt my leg and therefore my leg was in pain. So I just allowed the pain to go on for the whole night and I did not suffer from the pain because I accepted the situation as it was. When I look back to this incident, I find that it is the trying to escape from the situation that causes the suffering. And if there is no escape, then pain is pain, sensation is sensation.
Godwin: Very good.
Retreatant: I can only do it sometimes.
Godwin: All of us are like that. But what is important in such experiences is that at least you have a glimpse, a realisation, of what can be done when there is physical pain. So this is a very important insight. It's a very important experience. And it shows that the Dhamma, the medicine, really helps. If you can really use the medicine, it always helps us.
Retreatant: And I also want to emphasise that it also applies to mental suffering. If we do not try to escape from mental suffering it is not that painful sometimes.
Godwin: Very important point, because it shows that when there is physical pain, accepting it, working with it as a sensation and so on, you'll realise the physical pain is there but it is not a source of suffering. In fact I was discussing this with P. You can have mental suffering, certain defilements like maybe greed, maybe anger, maybe fear, and all these things. So as with physical pain, if you can learn not to identify yourself with that mental pain, if you can really use the idea of no-self, that there is no one really owning that state of mind, then those defilements or those negative things will be there but you'll be relating to them in an entirely different way.
In the Buddhist tradition normally it is interpreted as only when these things are completely absent that we can be really free of suffering. That seems to be a goal which is not easy to reach, but if you can see mental pain and physical pain in this way, then it is within the reach of all of us. So this again shows it is not what is happening but how we relate to it that makes all the difference. Maybe that is why in the same tradition it is said the ordinary mind is the enlightened mind.
So I hope that in everyday life when you have physical pain and mental pain, if you have discovered the tools, if you have discovered the medicine, to a great extent you may be experiencing them but not suffering as much.
And what is important is that when you have such experiences you develop self-confidence. It also means having trust and confidence in the medicine and the Buddha who discovered the medicine. So when you have this self-confidence, when you have this trust, when you have this self-reliance, then anything can arise but you know what to do about it.
Mindfulness
Retreatant: Is it better to say that mindfulness is the secret ingredient, because you have given us the tools, and mindfulness then is the tool that enables us to remember that we have these other tools. Is that accurate?
Godwin: As the Buddha said: Mindfulness or awareness is the only way. So with mindfulness we can investigate, we can explore. And this is how one can use mindfulness for exploration. There is a very interesting text which brings out the connection between mindfulness or awareness and wisdom. So awareness is compared to the surgeon's probe, probing the wound or area the surgeon has to operate on. And the surgeon's scalpel which is used to remove that wound or whatever the surgeon wants removed is compared to insight or wisdom. So with awareness you can probe, and with insight or wisdom, you can cut it out. So to take a simple example, when we are angry we try to explore why we are angry. Then you'll realise: I'm angry because I am demanding how things should be. Then when you see the problem is with you, wisdom or insight arises immediately. This sounds very simple but really this is the teaching.
Retreatant: That was part of the reason why I asked because I notice from my life that the longer the gaps are between the times I apply mindfulness, the harder it is to do so. So it seems a shame that I have the tools but never use them.
Godwin: It is interesting that one meaning of sati, mindfulness, is recollecting and remembering. So we have to remember. If you are sick and if the medicine bottle is there but you have forgotten to take the medicine, you can't be healed. So you have to remember to take the medicine at the right time. And I must say, sometimes the medicine in this practice is not very sweet. The medicine is not always pleasant, as you know. There are some medicines which are not sweet at all, not tasty at all, but sometimes such medicines can be very powerful. Like an injection: it is very unpleasant but it can work very quickly.
Retreatant: I have reflected on how to apply the tools that I have learnt in daily life but there are still one or two things I cannot find a solution to. For example, in the office I have to have expectations regarding what my colleagues do. Just one practical example: I asked one of my colleagues to send a letter to a certain place. My colleague has done that many times, hundreds of times before, so I expected this colleague to do the same this time. Occasionally people make mistakes, and a mistake is a mistake. But when I found out that this job was not done properly, which is a very simple job, then I found myself immediately getting agitated because when I assigned the job to my colleague I had this expectation that it's a very simple assignment, there should be no problem and my colleague would be able to handle it.
What I find is that after practising all these years I can recover from my agitation very quickly because I quickly understand that every human being makes mistakes. When I make a mistake myself, I really wish that somebody will forgive me. So when somebody else makes a mistake I had better forgive him. But still the expectation is there because it is my job. So in that situation, do you have any suggestion?
Godwin: I like such practical situations. So a few suggestions. One is: it is O.K. to have expectations because it is quite natural to have such expectations, but realise that having expectations is one thing, reality is another thing.
The second suggestion is that when such a thing happens, learn not to be surprised. Because we have to deal with human beings who can be forgetful and we have also to deal with human beings who are not so responsible. We should be surprised only if we find someone who is perfect! But there are no people who never forget and are always responsible. We should remember that we are living in a world of imperfect human beings.
Another suggestion, which is very important, is that you must show that you are a cobra. But you must learn to play it like a game. Now I'm going to call this man who has forgotten to attend to this very important letter but I am going to speak to him very firmly, in a very hard way but knowing very well I am only pretending, I am consciously doing it but inside I have no hatred towards him. Some people understand only that language. So you can say really firmly that next time you do such a thing I will reduce your salary by 50%, as they say in Sri Lanka.
Another interesting suggestion is to try to have a dialogue with that person. It's a very interesting exercise just to raise questions in such a situation. Now tell me: What happened to you? Why did you forget? Is it because you were not really interested or you had other more important things to remember, are you normally forgetful? So just get him to reflect on what has happened. So it enables that person to reflect on his own actions. This can sometimes be extremely helpful and it can reveal to him something that he might have not looked at before.
So I wish you the best of luck.
Retreatant: I work in a school and it is so easy for teachers to tell children how to behave and for children to be obedient. But we want our children to grow up to be responsible.
Godwin: So whether it is relating to adults or whether it is relating to children, or whether it is relating to ourselves we can use the same tool, have a dialogue. Supposing you have made a mistake. Rather than give yourself a minus, to have this kind of dialogue with yourself can be extremely helpful, can be extremely revealing, this is related to being your best friend.